While riding my motorcycle, two philippine cops flagged me over. After they ragged on about the big trouble I was in for made-up infraction, I thanked them for their friendly warning and asked how I could settle the matter. The older cop fanned open this ticket book so I could slip in a few bills. I usually keep my money neatly folded and held with a big paper clip, but this particular day I had an unsorted wad of philippine peso notes stuffed in my pocket which I pulled out and held in front of me. The two cops turned and ran like their butts were on fire. They dared not be seen with a foreigner holding a fist full of cash. I held out the money with an innocent expression, but finally just rode away.
Ah, I’ve got a story for you!
In 2003, my wife and I were backpacking around South East Asia, and took the long bus from Laos (Vientienne) over the mountains to Vietnam (Hanoi). Meant to take 24 hours, actually took 30 (without sleep) and went via Hoi An without them telling us, had chickens running around on the bus, a monk passenger blessed us en route, a child urinated on my foot (encouraged by his mother), the urine went back and forth along the wooden slats of the bus for the whole journey, the 50+ year old bus screamed along curvy mountain roads all night with various bits of the bus falling off and brakes occasionally failing, and when we arrived in Hanoi we feared for our lives as we arrived after curfew, the streets were empty, and our cab driver had a shouting match with his passenger making us think they were taking us somewhere to harvest our organs.
But that’s another story…
The border crossing into Vietnam was in the middle of bleedin’ nowhere. Huts and angry men with guns. They got everyone off the bus, and immediately singled us out for attention. We had to empty the entire contents of all our bags onto the dusty street, where they poked at EVERY item and shouted with wide eyes “WASS THIS????”.
“Erm, a toothbrush”
“WASS THIS?”
“Boxer shorts”
“WASS THIS???”
“Birth control pills”
*Puzzled look*
“No baby, no baby”
“WASS THIS?”
And so on. For over half an hour, with all the other passengers watching. We knew we had to be ready to give them a bribe, but there was really no obvious opportunity to do so. There was little of value, so eventually they gave us back our passports and sent us to a hut 500m away to get our stamps. Surprisingly straightforward from then on, we returned to our belongings and nothing was stolen. However at this point they were processing all the other passengers, each of whom in turn would present an offering at the feet of a sitting customs officer. Each time, he would look at the offering, and then use his foot to drag it under his chair. Rinse and repeat for the other 15 passengers.
And then, in our sleep deprived fog, we were on our way. Next stop was a restaurant with no English menus and food of VERY questionable origin. The toilet was literally in a pig barn with - I swear - a 300lb heffer staring at us from 15 inches away as we did our business. But that, as I said, is another story!
My way was very simple. I acted stupid, failing to get the hint. Most corrupt security and airport staff do not ask for a bribe but delay you with a myriad of oblique suggestions eg that you may not be permitted to board with certain items or denied admission at your destination. If you don't rise to the bait and accept the risk happily they are screwed. They don't want to be exposed as being bent, so they pass you on to the next member of the team. Your clearance through the airport may be delayed but you can win. So, nod and grin, stay calm and polite and travel safe. Don't feed the trolls.
While traveling in Africa my Walkman broke. Instead of throwing it away I thought I might be able to use it as a bribe. I made sure I got rid of the batteries. At a remote border crossing into Tanzania they had figured out I had been in South Africa. If you had been to South Africa during Apartheid many of the other African countries would not allow you entry. When I offered them my Walkman as a bribe their eyes drolled. They did question me if it was in working condition but they had no way of checking. I often wonder what the scene was when they found out it did not work.
Source. https://travelstories1.quora.com/?__ni__=0&__nsrc__=4&__pmsg__=+WEZIWVB4WkZrZnpXWVFaSjZnNGs6YS5hcHAudmlldy5wbXNnLkxvZ2dlZEluRnJvbUxpbms6W1sxMTU3ODY5Njg3XSwge31d&__snid3__=23811078691&__tiids__=32948253
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