What's it like to live in the Netherlands?

Bas Leijser

It’s hell on Earth.

• There’s a village without any roads. No roads, I tell you! And this is the 21st century?

• We’re just downright cruel to colourblind people.

• We have no interesting historic fortifications, like the French.

• As a wildlife animal, you can easily get lost because your habitat just doesn’t end anywhere.

• Roads may suddenly disappear underwater. We also care more about rivers crossing the street rather than vice versa.

• If you arrive in the Netherlands from the sea, sorry, but the gate is closed for today. Get lost squidward.

• We have houses that float on water. Some of them can even move from city to city. So, instead of losing your house key, you can lose your entire house here.

• The food sucks.

• Our cities lack atmosphere and we have no interesting architecture.

• We lack any interesting museums or famous artists

• Nobody cares about cyclists and there are almost no special facilities for them, like bicycle highways.

• We are far less successful than Moses at splitting water bodies.

• Being such a small country, we can barely set a positive example for becoming more sustainable.

• We’ve taken it upon ourselves to clean the world’s oceans. Sounds like hard work.

• And last but not least, we have a terrible sense of humour. It’s mostly sarcasm, where we say the opposite of what we actually mean.