I remember my Dad in his late 70’s yelling loudly at some poor bank clerk on the telephone because of some service issue. I couldn’t understand why Dad went so far off the rails about something so minor. It was very out of character for him. Normally, he was a gentle soul who rarely raised his voice at anyone.
Now that I’m in my early 70’s and have come to realize why older folks can be cranky.
For one thing, the obvious: we’ve lived a LONG time and generally put up with a lot of sh$t over the years. Eventually, we get tired of it and tend to be impatient. So, we snap at people or get angry with someone who is not doing something we think should be done faster or another way.
For another thing, as we age, we tend to have aches and pains and it gets harder to get up in the morning. We are just plain hurting sometimes and it just makes us come out snarling instead of polite. We are both in our 70’s and in reasonably good health - well enough to travel several times a year, but, I have a bad back that acts up once in a while and my wife has had 5 surgeries in the past 4 years (two knees, two hips and a repair from a fall) so while we are mobile and independent, there is no doubt the ravages of time have taken their toll on our bodies.
Also, our mental capacity may be challenged sometimes. We forget things - little things usually - or we have too much on our minds at the same time. I liken it to a computer hard drive being full - we are on overload and just can’t tolerate the stress of having to remember several things at the same time. I’m forever making lists so I can keep things in order.
Finally, and this is a bit sad, but we’ve lost people - important people - in our lives by the time we are 70. They died. Grandparents, of course, but parents, aunts, and uncles, cousins, siblings, dear friends. Without the network, we had growing up all of our lives for love, comfort, and company, life is more lonely and melancholy and tougher to deal with.
All these combined leave us sort of angry all the time. I think of some of my lost friends every day and it makes me unhappy that they are no longer around for me to have fun with.
Being aware of all these things helps. I’m pretty good at self-analysis so I attempt to control my temperament. When I’m confronted by some damn fool who doesn’t understand what I want or who takes my order wrong at the drive-in or who is just annoying somehow, I try and control my response and mood.
I also have to try and adjust myself at home with my wife. It’s very easy to slip into a pattern of snapping and bickering with someone you’ve lived with a long time - in our case 50 years. Again, I remember my parents barking at one another all the time in their later years. My mother couldn’t hear well and my father got frustrated at her not being able to hear him. It was sort of funny if it weren’t people I was so close to. My mother would ask my father over and over again to repeat himself and by the third time he was shouting at her and she would say, hurt, “Why are you yelling at me?”
So every once in a while, when I find myself being snippy to my wife, I readjust myself and think “be kind” she’s as old as I am! We also do a lot of traveling on planes and boats which is very stressful and I have to really work hard to make sure I don’t let the moment ruin what is supposed to be a pleasant vacation.
In the evenings, we have a few drinks and that helps our mood.
With all of our travels, we’ve come in contact with a lot of people our age and older and the ones we are most impressed with, and the ones who’ve adopted a positive attitude and don’t let life get them down.
A sense of humor is essential after age 65.
Us in our early 20’s visiting my parents in Florida (1973) My Dad passed at 88 and my Mom at 92. My wife’s Mother lived to be 82 and her Dad just after he turned 90.
In Norway in 2018, at age 71. We spent our 50th Anniversary on a riverboat in Portugal this past August 2019.
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