What is the biggest lesson you learned that no one teaches?

I can not tell my parents that I'm still a virgin even after almost three years of my marriage. My husband has erectile dysfunction. Within a few months of marriage, when he never went ahead of foreplay and oral sex, I had to share this with my mother. She shared the fact with my sister in laws who further tried to worsen the situation for us by making my husband go against me. A year into marriage and we lived like strangers out of love. We never to honeymoon, only family trips, and he never took me to his workplace which was a town 500 kilometers away from his hometown where I lived with his parents for a year.

After a lot of heated arguments between our families, it was decided that he'll get himself treated and I'll live wherever he lives, with him. A lot of drama happened. Just because I was so much in love with him, I gave this relationship another chance.

Today, tbh, while living together separately, away from him family, we've grown so fond of each other, our bond has strengthen so much, that the person who never expressed his feelings for me expresses it openly. I was already in love, and now he is too. Romance has grown tenfold.

But the sex hasn't happened, yet.

He and I, both are still virgins. Nothing like we didn't try, we did, he went through medication of all sorts. He did whatever he could, for the proper consummation of this marriage, but still we failed.

I sometimes break down whenever we try doing 'it' and it doesn't happen. I'm in my late twenties and he is in early thirties and this makes it even worse for both of us. We desire for each other. He dies to get inside me. I need him inside me. But it doesn't happen.

My tears makes him feel worthless. He consoles me in his own way. Feels sorry for me. Says, don't worry babe, I'll make everything alright. Just give me some time. I'll make it up to you.

I somehow feel that it'll never happen with us. We'll remain this way. Cuddling couple who never go beyond it.

I cannot let my parents know about this. I do not want another chaos in my married life. I do not want to go away from him just because he can't satisfy me on bed. I love him too much.

My parents now know that everything is going fine between us. Our sex life is great, for they can see our chemistry in our pictures together (that's because our love shows in it). They know everything but the truth.

I know they'll come to know about it eventually. I fear that day all the time. We fear losing each other. Only for this reason. He still fears that my family will break this marriage if it doesn't happen soon. I've told him that I'll not leave him for this reason. I'm not with him for sex. I'm with him because I love him unconditionally. I care for him too much.

What is the biggest lesson you learned that no one teaches?

Gaby

WriterUpdated Sep 11

What is the biggest lesson you learned that no one teaches?

1. Life doesn’t ever get better
2. You can have the perfect job and can be making 500k a year and still not be happy.
3. Not everyone is your friend.
4. Doing the wrong thing is easier than doing the right thing.
5. Never depend on anyones opinions for your happiness.
6. Life could be worse, appreciate that your alive.
7. Perfect practice makes perfect.
8. You are going to hit rock bottom eventually, you just have to learn how to climb back up.
9. Don’t do everything solo, having good people by your side can be a big advantage.
10. Not everyone will agree with you and thats okay.
11. Agree to disagree, arguements aren’t worth anything.
12. Don’t assume, if you don’t ask, you will never know anything.
13. No matter how smart you are or think you are, there is always something to be learned about in life.
14. Your first love won’t be your forever love.
15. Even the happiest people have hard days.
16. Don’t compare your life to others.
17. Mother does know best.
18. Don’t take a young persons advice, old people have probably experienced more crucial things in life.
19. Happiness isnt permanent but its also temporary.
20. It is important to let go. If you don’t let go, you will never be happy.

Laying Down Your Burdens

December 7, 2022 Wednesday of the Second Week of Advent Readings for Today Saint Ambrose, Bishop and Doctor—Memorial

Video “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 One of the most delightful and healthy activities in life is sleep. This is especially the case when one is able to enter into a deep and refreshing sleep. Upon awakening, the person who has slept deeply feels refreshed and ready for a new day. Of course, the opposite is also true. When sleep is difficult and restless, the person can suffer numerous ill effects, especially when a lack of healthy sleep becomes the norm. The same is true in our spiritual lives. For many people, “spiritual rest” is something foreign to them. They may say a few prayers each week, attend Mass, or even make a holy hour. But unless each one of us enters into a form of prayer that is deep and transforming, we will not be able to experience the interior spiritual rest we need. Jesus’ invitation in today’s Gospel to “Come to me…” is an invitation to become transformed, interiorly, as we allow Him to relieve us of the burdens of our daily lives. Each day we often face spiritual hardships and challenges, such as temptations, confusions, disappointments, angers and the like. We are often daily bombarded with the lies of the evil one, the hostility of a growing secularized culture and an assault on our senses through the numerous forms of media we daily digest. These and many other things we encounter each and every day will have the effect of wearing us down interiorly on a spiritual level. As a result, we need the spiritual refreshment that comes only from our Lord. We need the spiritual “sleep” that results from deep and revitalizing prayer. And that form of prayer is only possible if we heed Christ’s invitation to come to Him with every fiber of our being, surrendering all that we are and all that we encounter each and every day. Reflect, today, upon whether you feel weary at times. Ponder, especially, any mental or emotional weariness. Oftentimes these forms of weariness are actually spiritual in nature and need a spiritual remedy. Seek the remedy our Lord offers you by accepting His invitation to come to Him, deeply in prayer, and rest in His presence. Doing so will help to lift the heavy burdens with which you struggle. My loving Lord, I accept Your invitation to come to You and rest in Your glorious presence. Draw me in, dear Lord, to Your heart that is overflowing with grace and mercy. Draw me into Your presence so that I may rest in You and be delivered from the many burdens of life. Jesus, I trust in You.

Is sixty too old to rebuild your life after losing everything?

Alan Oakley

Phd in Psychology & Social Psychology, Reading (Graduated 1986)

 

Is sixty too old to rebuild your life after losing everything?

I am 59, and 5 years ago I became single and walked out with just the clothes on my back. It felt devastating as I started on the streets of London at 11 years old. I had a comfortable financial life with 3 businesses, a home, several vehicles, and credit through my yang yang.

It is a habit of mine to walk away from everything when I am not wanted anymore. I have done this 3 times, and gone from nothing to success again.

I now realize that at my age it is hard to re build. I have a job, an apartment, a car, and am comfortable, yet no drive to rebuild. For what? To give it away again? I find at my age no one is interested in partnering with an older man without a nest egg. I find that my attraction in the past was because of my position in life. This all saddens me. I won't however lower myself to arguing over chattels and money. That had nothing to do with the reasons I was in relationships.

It's a different life I have now, where when I'm not working, I can build me. I can spend time on doing what I like, like hiking, reading, writing, experimental mind journeys. Feeling joy, instead of trying to people please, or heal, or counsel.. I can leave my work at work. I can build my spiritual space, and am starting to draw and paint the beauty I see. I believe relationships are a teacher that can be a ‘hard-task-master.’

My life is much different now, and there are times when I am lonely and sad, but many other times when I experience joy and happiness. Life is a journey that builds us as long as we are the observer searching for our elusive truth — an adventure of becoming. I would not have it any different, other than having someone to snuggle with.

WOW!! So many up votes. Thank you so much.

I have been thinking a lot about this question, and I realized many of us are where I am. Another thought is that there are no accidents. I spent over 37 years in relationships, trying hard to make them work, and 5 years ago it felt like my spirit said, “enough is enough.” It created the space I needed to contemplate my own humanity and what it means. I am thankful for this time. Even if I do start again with someone, I realize now that I would be so different. Starting again at any age is hard, rewarding, and illuminating.

Thanks again.

The Joy of Our Lord

> December 6, 2022 Tuesday of the Second Week of Advent Readings for Today Saint Nicholas, Bishop—Optional Memorial

Video “Jesus said to his disciples: “What is your opinion? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray?”  Matthew 18:12 This Gospel passage goes on to say that the man who finds that one stray sheep “rejoices more over it than over the ninety-nine that did not stray.” At first, this might seem unfair. Why not primarily rejoice over the ninety-nine who did not stray? Saint Hillary, in commenting on this passage, interprets the man who sought out the one stray sheep as the Son of God. He left the “ninety-nine,” meaning the glory of the hosts of Heaven, to descend to earth to seek out straying humanity. Humanity as a whole is that one lost sheep. That includes us all. The first thing this interpretation reveals to us is that the Son of God was clearly sent on a mission to seek out each and every one of us after we strayed far from the Father in Heaven. The Father did not sit back and wait for us to return. Rather, He sent the Son on a diligent mission of seeking us out to bring us back into His divine fold. As we reflect upon this passage, it is important to see the zeal and determination of our Lord as He seeks us out. Do you see this in your own life? Sometimes we can fall into the trap of thinking that it is primarily our responsibility to seek out God. And though we certainly have this responsibility, our duty is made much easier when we understand how passionately our Lord seeks us out and desires to find us when we stray. Only in Heaven will we fully understand all that our Lord has done to seek us out, day in and day out. But for now, we must strive to understand this spiritual truth so that we will be more open to Jesus’ diligent search for us. A second thing this passage reveals is the joy in the Heart of the Son of God every time He finds us and carries us away from our sin. Too often we can fall into the trap of seeing God as a judgmental God who is angry at us and condemning. But if we understand the extent to which the Son of God went, so as to find us when we stray, and if we can understand the joy in His heart upon finding us and carrying us away from sin, then we will more readily open ourselves to Him, to His gentle invitations, and to His merciful Heart every time He comes to us by grace. Reflect, today, upon the great anticipation in the Heart of our Lord as He personally seeks you out. The anticipation is that of joy—the joy that He is filled with as He picks you up and gently carries you back to the Father. Allow this joy in the Heart of our Lord to come to fruition so that you will share in this abundance of joy. My diligent Lord, You seek me out, day and night, never tiring of calling me to return more fully to Yourself. Please help me to fill Your Heart with joy by always responding to Your gentle invitations of love and mercy. Jesus, I trust in You.

Loving the Proud and Arrogant

December 5, 2022 Monday of the Second Week of Advent Readings for Today

Video And some men brought on a stretcher a man who was paralyzed; they were trying to bring him in and set him in his presence. But not finding a way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on the stretcher through the tiles into the middle in front of Jesus. Luke 5:18–19 It’s interesting to note that, as the paralyzed man’s faith-filled friends lowered him down from the roof in front of Jesus, Jesus was surrounded by Pharisees and teachers of the law “from every village of Galilee and Judea and Jerusalem” (Luke 5:17). The religious leaders came in droves.  They were among the most educated of the Jews and happened to be among the ones who had gathered to see Jesus speak that day. And it was partly on account of large numbers of them gathering around Jesus that the friends of the paralyzed man could not reach Jesus without this radical move of opening the roof. So what does Jesus do when He sees the paralytic lowered before Him from the roof? He told the paralytic that his sins were forgiven. Sadly, those words were immediately met with severe interior criticism from these religious leaders. They said among themselves, “Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who but God alone can forgive sins?” (Luke 5:21). But Jesus knew their thoughts and decided to do one more act for the good of these religious leaders. The first act of Jesus, to forgive the paralytic’s sins, was for the good of the paralytic. But the paralytic’s physical healing, interestingly, appears to be primarily for these pompous and self-righteous Pharisees and teachers of the law. Jesus heals the man so that they will “know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” (Luke 5:24). As soon as Jesus performs this miracle, the Gospel tells us that everyone was “struck with awe” and glorified God. Apparently, this included the judgmental religious leaders. So what does this teach us? It shows how deeply Jesus loved these religious leaders despite their exceptional pride and judgmentalism. He wanted to win them over. He wanted them to convert, humble themselves and turn to Him. It’s somewhat easy to show love and compassion to one who is paralyzed, rejected, and humiliated already. But it takes an incredible amount of love to also care deeply about the proud and arrogant. Reflect, today, upon the love Jesus had for these religious leaders. Though they came to find fault with Him, falsely judge Him and continually tried to trap Him, Jesus never ceased in His attempts to win them over. As you think about this mercy of our Lord, consider also the person in your life who is most difficult to love, and recommit to loving them with your whole heart in imitation of our divine Lord. My most merciful Lord, give me a heart of forgiveness and mercy for others. Help me, especially, to have a deep concern for those whom I find most difficult to love. In imitation of Your divine mercy, strengthen me to act with a radical love for all so that they will come to know You more deeply. Jesus, I trust in You.

Public Repentance

December 4, 2022 Second Sunday of Advent (Year A) Readings for Today

Video When he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce good fruit as evidence of your repentance.” Matthew 3:7–8 This was both a very intense and yet very holy encounter. It was intense in that Saint John the Baptist, who had become quite popular and respected and was considered a great prophet, spoke harshly toward the Pharisees and Sadducees. “You brood of vipers!” he says. This was not the way the Pharisees and Sadducees were normally spoken to. John speaks this way because it was the truth. These religious leaders were not leading anyone closer to God. One only needs to ponder all that Jesus would eventually say to the Pharisees and Sadducees to understand what kind of people these religious leaders had become. So this passage is certainly intense. But it is also very holy. It is holy because this “brood of vipers” needed to be chastised. They needed to be condemned and challenged. They needed to be humbled. And there is nothing more humbling than sincerely repenting of one’s sins in a public way. Notice that John does not dismiss the leaders outright. Rather, he requires of them “evidence” of their repentance. Why? Because of the spiritual damage these men did to the people of Israel on account of their pride, self-righteousness, hypocrisy, love of public honors, condemnation of others, etc. They had so distorted the faith that the good of their souls required public repentance. It required that everyone see sincere good fruits flowing from their lives as a sign that they had changed. Though this is a tall order for the Pharisees and Sadducees, it’s the way to holiness for them. The same is true for us. If you have allowed yourself to fall into some of the same traps as the Pharisees and Sadducees, then you, too, will greatly benefit from clear and humble public change. If you have struggled with self-righteousness, a critical tongue, a “holier than thou” attitude or a judgmental attitude toward others, then you might have great need for a humble and public repentance. Reflect, today, upon the Pharisees and Sadducees. Try to understand their sin and the reason John called them a “brood of vipers.” If you see any of their pride and self-righteousness within your own soul, then listen to this exhortation from John the Baptist as if it were spoken to you directly. “Produce good fruit as evidence of your repentance.” Do this, and God will free you through the gift of true humility. My humble Lord, You call all people to repentance with great humility and sincerity. Please help me to see my sin and to never shy away from facing it, so that You can free me from that filth and set me more firmly on the path to holiness. Jesus, I trust in You.

On Mission From Christ

December 3, 2022 Saturday of the First Week of Advent Readings for Today Saint Francis Xavier, Priest—Memorial

Video “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest.” Matthew 9:37–38 What does God want of you? What is your mission? Some fervent Christians may dream of becoming a popular evangelist. Some may dream of doing heroic acts of charity that are praised by all. And others may wish to live a very quiet and hidden life of faith, close to family and friends. But what does God want of YOU? In the passage above, Jesus exhorts His disciples to pray for “laborers for his harvest.” You can be certain that you are among the “laborers” of which our Lord speaks. It’s easy to think that this mission is for others, such as priests, religious and full-time lay evangelists. It’s easy for many to conclude that they do not have much to offer. But nothing could be further from the truth. God wants to use you in exceptionally glorious ways.  Yes, “exceptionally glorious!” Of course, that does not mean that you will be the next most popular YouTube evangelist or enter the spotlight like Saint Mother Teresa did. But the work God wants of you is just as real and just as important as any of the greatest saints of old or who are alive today. Holiness of life is discovered in prayer but also in action. As you pray each and every day and grow closer to Christ, He will exhort you to “Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, drive out demons” (Matthew 10:8), as today’s Gospel goes on to state. But He will call you to do this in the unique way within your own vocation. Your daily duty is not to be ignored. So who in your daily encounters are those who are the sick, the dead, the lepers and the possessed? Most likely they are all around you, to one extent or another. Take, for example, those who are “lepers.” These are those who are the “rejects” of society. Our world can be harsh and cruel, and some may find themselves feeling lost and alone. Who do you know who may fall into this category? Who needs a bit of encouragement, understanding and compassion? God has given you a daily duty that He has not given to another, and, for that reason, there are some who need your love. Look for them, reach out to them, share Christ with them, be there for them. Reflect, today, upon this exceptionally glorious calling you have been given to be Christ to another. Embrace this duty of love. See yourself as one called to be a laborer for Christ and commit yourself to the full and glorious fulfillment of this mission, no matter how it is to be lived out in your life. My dear Lord, I commit myself to Your divine mission. I choose You and Your holy will for my life. Send me, dear Lord, to those who are most in need of your love and mercy. Help me to know how I can bring that love and mercy to those entrusted to me so that they will experience in their lives Your glorious and saving grace. Jesus, I trust in You.

What completely harmless animal or insect would you be afraid of if you met it?

Luise

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Worked at Own BusinessNov 23

What completely harmless animal or insect would you be afraid of if you met it?

I have an irrational fear of moths anyway.

But if I met this guy at night without ever having seen him, I'd probably get very scared. He's not small.

This is the larva of an endangered moth species of Australia.

Its name is Pink Underwing Moth or Phyllodes Imperialis. This moth species was discovered only in 1988.

Its "face" actually looks like a skull.

But when you get used to it, it's also a little cute.

But what's even funny is that he has a real "butt face" because his face is his butt and in the front he's just slightly curled up.

And here you can see his size and it's impressive.

I already know why I would never sleep outside in Australia.

And this is what the finished moth looks like.

13 centimeters tall.

As big as a small bird and the wings look like leaves. By the way, they prefer to eat rotting fruit that has fallen to the ground.

It would be just my horror that the flies around in my apartment and flies against the walls or against my head, buzzing.

And so it looks camouflaged and then suddenly flies off. Creepy.

Nevertheless, it is beautiful and fascinating.

Source:

Luise