Sunday, October 16, 2022

What Is The Brutal Truth About Relationships?

1. 80% of People in Relationships Are Settling Out of Scarcity

Statistics back this up.

The majority of people who are currently in relationships are NOT in the relationship because they love the other person.

They’re in it because they’re too scared to be alone and figure things out by themselves.

They’re more happy to check the box “in a relationship” than they are happy about the quality of that relationship.

I need to be blunt – If you aren’t absolutely THRILLED about your partner, where the relationship is going and your life together, then you’re absolutely settling.

This isn’t to say that relationships don’t take work or that you don’t go through periods of stress together… But most people simply don’t love their partner the way they claim to.

They’re simply terrified of being alone.

2. You Are Not Your Partners Psychotherapist!

If your partner doesn’t love themselves, handle their own problems and care for themselves (especially if you do) the relationship is severely imbalanced which will lead to an eventual break up.

The longer this persists inside the relationship the nastier the break up.

It is not your job to fix your partner, neither it is your partners job to fix you.

It’s about two whole people falling in love, supporting each other and sharing a beautiful life together.

3. You WILL Fall Out of Love

This isn’t my opinon, it’s a scientific fact.

This is how the brain works. After the initial phase of lust and attraction (typically 18–36 months) your brain will literally stop producing feel good and bonding hormones for a while to make sure that you see your partner for who they really are.

If you ignored the red flags in the beginning (which 90% of people do) because of the “love chemicals” then you will be left with a partner that you cannot stand and find yourself arguing over the littlest things like cleaning the dishes.

People are more picky about what they will wear on their wedding day than they are the actual person they are marrying.

I encourage you to be picky… very picky when selecting a partner, so after 3 years you are still excited about your partner because you chose wisely.

4. It Probably Won’t Last (Especially If You’re Younger than 30)

This is just a statistical reality.

This doesn’t mean that it can’t last if you’re both mature, whole, and loving.

But chances are it won’t last.

You don’t have enough experience to know what you want and more importantly don’t want in a partner.

As much as you can read about this stuff it takes real experience, pain and mistakes to figure these things out.

Take the lessons learned and apply them to make the next one better.

5. Your Partner Probably Won’t Change that Much

If you’re in a relationship waiting for your partner to change, then you’re waiting for something that will never happen.

Your partner will change, but not in ways that you can control and at their own pace.

Some people get into a relationship with the future version of this person, so you’re left constantly frustrated until they become who you are projecting that person to be “one day” if ever.

If you’ve fallen in love with someone’s potential, then you are basically in love with an imaginary person and not living in reality.

6 . You or Your Partner Will Die and Leave the Other Person Alone

Every relationship will end in either a break up or through death.

Sucks doesn’t it?

Unless you and your partner die together, one of you will die first and leave the other person heartbroken, in deep sorrow and alone.

Accepting this fact will make the moments you do have with this person more sacred and enjoyable since “this too shall pass”.

7. The Grass is Greener Where It’s Watered… Screw Your Fence

If you’re in a relationship and you believe that the grass is greener on the other side, that you need a new partner to make you happy, you’re wrong.

The grass is greenest where it’s watered.

Yes, you need to make sure you selected the right partner to begin with most importantly.

But even then, people will leave relationships because they think their partner is the problem even though they are the ones who aren’t investing in a relationship.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence, it’s greener where you water it.

You could have the perfect business model and product but if you don’t spend time on it and “water” it then it will always fail. You don’t need to create a new business you need to nurture the business you have.

If you’re in a toxic relationship right now, you don’t need another relationship. You need to work on yourself so that you can attract the right partner.

If the relationship has gone stale, you don’t need another person to make you happy. You need to invest in your existing relationship to try and bring the excitement back.

Screw your fence!

8. You Don’t Need a Relationship to Be Happy (And you’re screwed if you do)

Plain and simple.

If you think you need another person to “complete” you or make you happy, then you’ve already lost.

Also it’s not fair to whoever you are projecting this responsibility onto.

Learn to be happy by yourself or you’ll never be happy with another person.

End of story.

Hope this helps you on your journey.

Stay Grounded, 
Andrew

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