Do you think having money has brought you more happiness than you had without it?

Amy Chai

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MD, Internal Medicine, MS, Epidemiology, author  6h

Do you think having money has brought you more happiness than you had without it?

NO. Not at all. Except for “not being in debt” which is good. Very stress relieving if I must say. But otherwise, no.

Before we had money, my husband and I worked nonstop (over 100 hrs/wk) at the hospital. We rummaged through garbage for our furniture and for returnable bottles. We did not vacation or go out. It was nothing but work.

Fast forward to now. We have money. Beautiful home. A nice boat. But we can’t use it or enjoy it because we don’t have time and my husband still works over 100 hr/wk. weekends are work. Weekdays are work. The boat is sitting in a slip. My family is mostly dead now, only remaining is my father. Even my in-laws are dead. I am working part-time now but caregiving is NUTS and so stressful. Instead of looking forward to building a family, we have watched our children learn from us and start out on solid footing, working less and earning more than us. So family days are over. I hope they can buy the best care for us some day, so nobody is forced to do caregiving for four parents and one brother in her lifetime like I did.

So now I can afford to do what I want but I still find myself unable to do anything I really wanted to do.

Worst thing is that coming up from extreme poverty and marrying an immigrant has kept me out of the social circles in which I now find myself. I have absolutely NOTHING in common with other academics, surgeons, physicians, or wealthy people. Nothing whatsoever. They are highly left and completely unwilling to hear or understand someone who thinks differently and values different things. And yes, I still get those complimenty insults like “It’s great you keep your face natural” (you have no idea how to look good) and “I could never do what you do” (I would not be caught dead working with drug addicts). Therefore I have no friends in my socio-economic class here in New England. That’s right, 13 years later and still not a single one. And the people that I do enjoy being around are uncomfortable with me because I am a “rich doctor” and they do not feel like they fit in with me. They treat me sort of reverently like I am not like them. Which I’m not. But I’m not like my colleagues, either. For people I meet, I avoid telling them who I am and it makes for better interactions.