We lose friends as we age.
I won't speak for everyone. I'll speak for me.
As I got older and acquired more responsibility, I got busier.
As I got busier I got choosier over how I spent my time.
Getting older made me picky. Really picky. Arriving at a restaurant on time or an ability to make and stick to agreed upon commitments became a critical requirement.
If I didn’t have time, I definitely did not have time for flaky.
In my late twenties and thirties my life revolved around moving to a new country, working in a demanding, full time job that involved building teams, and being a good wife. I didn’t have time for much else.
And then I got a divorce, and it reminded me - like a glass of ice water over my head - that friends were a lot more important than I had realized.
Friends saved my life.
I was vexed to recognize that I had somehow bought into the notion that I didn’t have time, that I had more important things to do, that friends were not a priority.
If you tell yourself “it’s too hard”, that becomes reality.
In other words, I voluntarily closed myself off to one of the most enriching, heart-filling, affirming parts of life.
My friend Andrea said it best: “friends, like sleep, are an essential yet undervalued aspect of our existence.”
Don't make the same mistake.
Instead:
- Be open to the delicate serendipity of making new friends.
- Forget concepts like "flaky". Embrace people for who they are and watch with wonder how they show up their way, not yours.
- Go out of your way to spend time with all the friends you made back when it almost felt like falling in love.
- Invite friends over to your house and just sit on the couch and talk. Throw away the notion that it's necessary to make more elaborate plans.
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