What are some unspoken rules of your country?

Transatlantic

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Oct 12

What are some unspoken rules of your country?

English-speaking Canada. 🇨🇦 (Caveat: Canada is a multicultural society; these are some general norms among established Anglo society and speciffically its upper middle class, which is what I happen to know best.)

1. In public, you hold the door you've just gone through for the person behind you.
2. You thank the bus driver if getting off the bus through the front door.
3. You don't ask how much money others make or talk about how much you make (except with people you're extremely close to).
4. When somebody asks you how you're doing, the answer is always that you're doing well.
5. “Let's get together sometime” means “let's not get together”.
6. When saying “no” to an invitation or request, you need to provide a plausible excuse or you'll be considered rude.
7. You don't give unsolicited advice. When giving solicited advice, you don't use should. It's, “Perhaps you might consider…”
8. Things like coffee or lunch dates are planned weeks ahead of time and can be cancelled at the last moment because “something came up”.
9. If someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, you both say “sorry”, often with a long first vowel (“sawry”).
10. You don't discuss religion or politics (except with people you're extremely close to).
11. You always try to not get closer than an arm's length to people lest you invade their personal space. The only exception is a crowded subway car/streetcar/bus, and it's very unpleasant.
12. You don't chat with strangers on public transit or while waiting for it.
13. You bring a small gift (wine/potted plant/a box of chocolates) when visiting someone's house for the first time. The cynic in me wants to warn you that your item may be regifted.
14. If you're having a party, be prepared for at least some people just dropping by for a bit and then moving on to the remaining things they put on their schedule for that night.
15. When invited to a party, you ask if you can bring something. You may be asked to bring a dish, drinks, or a dessert. If the answer is “nothing”, you still bring a small gift (something from 13. or a nice food item like a loaf of bread or a nice olive oil… Something like that.) Your item may be regifted.
16. When you come to someone's house, the rule is to take your shoes off unless explicitly told not to. If you're averse to taking your shoes off, you can get away with asking the host(s) what they prefer, but expect that you're going to end up unshod. Wear your best socks!
17. When you make a serious social faux-pas, you'll rarely be confronted about it, but you will be avoided like the plague in the future.

I'm not saying I'm on board with all of the above, but that's how it is.