It's complicated. And a tad contradictory, I would say.
When I married a white man, my mother sent me a picture of a cute white baby like the one below and enthusiastically asked me to have a baby who looks like this one. One who “looks like it's out of a Pampers ad".
And to be honest, if I do have a baby, I would want him to look more European than Arab. Why? Because that way his looks will be way more appreciated by Arabic standards, at least in my circle.
When I was little, I got made fun of often in summer because I tan very intensely that I become dark brown. And sometimes the aunties would comfort me by saying “tan skin is half the beauty", a saying that is often directed at us, the unfortunate ones who inherited the stereotypical olive skin.
And growing up, I hated my wavy/ curly hair. I wanted it to be straight Hair, or as everyone around me refers to it “soft hair". So I relaxed my hair, so that it's straight for months. My friends who have curlier hair than me would always wear their hair in a bun because they are ashamed of how it looks.
It's been a norm around me for women to get whitening creams, go blond even if it doesn't suit their olive skin, straighten their hair with chemicals, even if it's harmful on the long run and so on.
Anyhow, you get my point. White/ European looks are generally admired over here. Things are starting to change with the younger generations who are starting embrace their looks. But generally, this is how it goes around me.
What about the culture?
In Egypt, we have a term called “the foreigner complex".
It means that there is a huge admiration/idealization to the advancement of the west. That people view speaking English with an American/ British accent as high-class and something to brag about. That western trends go viral often. It means that, if an Arab and a Westerner did exactly the same thing, the Westerner would get way more praise and acceptance.
So when this Egyptian actor dresses like this, many view him as trashy:
But if this Western actor dresses like this, he gets women swooning:
There is also a common saying that foreigners are “Muslims without Islam". Meaning they act on kindness and compassion often as Islam encourages, even though they are -generally- not Muslims.
So there is a lot of idealization regarding looks and some aspects of the culture.
However, guess what happened when I was about to marry this European-looking Westerner? If they are so idealized, then it should be highly welcomed, no?
Wrong.
Some of my father's first words to me when I got engaged were: “ you realize that this man has slept with all sorts of women, drinks alcohol, and has no issues with women wearing a bikini?”
I would say that my father's words reflect what many people around me think.
Generally speaking, Westerners viewed as loose, which by Arabic standards they are. They can have children without marriage. They can move in together without marriage. They can go to nightclubs and drink. And so on. All of these are things that are absolutely demonized over here.
So it's sort of an admiration/idealization, but from distance and in certain aspects only. It does not necessarily mean that they want to live exactly like Westerners or have their values.
Hence what I mean by a contradictory view on Westerners. It's a mixture of admiration but with looking down on many aspects of the culture.
Of course, keep in mind that my circle is quite conservative and traditional as opposed to more Westernized Arabs who may be more tolerant and embrace a Western lifestyle.
I speak from my humble personal experience and observation as I can't possibly represent millions of Arabs.
Edit:
Alright, you guys. Forget about the shirtless men if you don't think they wear similar outfits. This is what I meant:
No comments:
Post a Comment