1. He’s trustworthy
Let’s begin with a not-so-fun-fact: 20-25% of married men cheat.
That’s tantamount to saying that 1 out of 4 or 5 men cheat. Those are not numbers that bring comfort to a woman’s heart!
That’s why trustworthiness ranks high on the list. A man who has a strong moral compass is going to make a great husband.
And it’s not just about cheating or the big stuff. Trust is actually built on the small moments of everyday life.
Dr. John Gottman calls these the “sliding door moments”. These are the moments when we make bids for attention, and our partner’s response can set the relationship on different paths (hence, the name “sliding door”, after the movie).
A man who responds in the right way adds to the trust in your relationship. That’s someone you can count on to be with you for the long haul.
2. He’s dependable
Naturally, it follows that a trustworthy man is a dependable man. And that further ups his potential as a partner.
If your man keeps his promises and is there for you when you need them, they’ll make a great husband.
After all, as Very Well Mind points out, “Not keeping your word tells your spouse that you simply don’t care, whether or not that’s actually true. It makes your spouse feel unloved or unimportant as if they aren’t worth the effort, and it probably makes you feel bad too.”
3. He has self-discipline
When I met my husband back in college, I knew pretty quickly that he was husband material.
Because he was (and still is) very disciplined. He took care of himself well, and he took his responsibilities seriously.
While the rest of our crew would think nothing of getting drunk on a weeknight, he’d stay home and study. And on the off-chance that he’d go to a party, he’d stop at two beers.
That earned him a reputation as a “goody two shoes”. But I saw it differently. I saw a man who knew how to reel himself in, motivate himself, and focus on what really matters.
If your man is that way too, then there’s a good chance he’d be a great husband. And I’m pretty sure this next thing is true as well…
4. He’s at a solid place in his life
Let’s face it, marriage is hard. It’s not something we should take lightly. And as much as it’s about the strength of the relationship, it’s also about the strength and readiness of each partner on their own.
Real talk – there’s a definite link between marital satisfaction and financial health. In the real world, sadly, love just ain’t enough.
A man who has a good career and can stand on his own two feet would make a great husband, not because of the paycheck, but because it means several things:
- He’s goal-oriented and hardworking
- He has self-discipline (as we discussed earlier)
- He’s financially responsible
- He has a strong sense of self
All of that points to this one overarching trait – he’s committed to personal growth.
That bodes well for your marriage because a partner who’s willing to improve himself will always be working for the good of the relationship.
That bodes well for your marriage because a partner who’s willing to improve himself will always be working for the good of the relationship.
5. He’s humble
Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t know how to apologize? Or who’s so full of himself and wants to be in charge all the time?
Obviously, those kinds of guys aren’t marriage material.
It’s the humble ones who are worth investing your love, time, and energy in. Humble men are such a breath of fresh air!
I’m married to one, and believe me, it’s so lovely to be with someone who admits his mistakes and aims to do better.
I know how hard that is. The Crisis and Trauma Institute says, “Although cultivating humility is simple, it’s certainly not easy – it requires persistent and intentional action on our part, and it dissipates immediately when ego and pride emerge.”
Marry a man who understands that ego has no place in a healthy relationship, and you’re good as gold.
6. He knows how to compromise
Speaking of ego and humility brings me to this next point – compromise.
Every marriage or relationship involves compromise. It’s a team endeavor, not a solo one.
A man who understands the give-and-take nature of a relationship is definitely going to be an amazing partner.
Professional counselor Joshua Emery points out what compromise ultimately reflects – empathy. He says:
“Showing empathy demonstrates to our spouse that they are important to us and that we are paying attention to how they feel. The likelihood of compromising drastically increases when we have a better understanding of how the other person feels.”
7. He’s a good forgiver
I’ve always abided by this nugget of wisdom by Ruth Bell Graham: “Marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
So, a guy who’s good at forgiving? He’s going to be a great husband.
When someone can let go of the small stuff and move past the bigger mistakes, it makes everything in a relationship smoother.
This kind of man doesn’t stay mad or bring up old arguments. Instead, he focuses on conflict resolution and moving forward.
That’s the kind of partner who makes a marriage strong, happy, and full of grace
8. He treats everyone respectfully
Psychologists and counselors agree that mutual respect is absolutely important in a relationship.
You’ll know a man is truly respectful if he extends the same level of respect to everyone, not just you.
Whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant, a colleague at work, or a stranger on the street, he gives everyone the same level of decency and kindness.
This shows that respect is a core part of who he is, not something he turns on and off depending on the situation or person.
That’s a man you can be proud of. It’s a sign of his good character and moral integrity, and that bodes well for your marriage.
9. He’s willing to be vulnerable
The topic of vulnerability has been enjoying a lot of attention lately, thanks largely to researcher Brene Brown’s focus on the matter.
According to her, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
Wouldn’t you want to have all of that in your marriage?
The problem is, a lot of men still struggle with this, possibly due to social conditioning. Many men have been taught that vulnerability means weakness, and men aren’t supposed to be weak.
That’s why if the guy you’re dating is willing to open up and share his real self, fears, shame, and all…that’s a keeper. He’s someone you can count on to be authentic and connect with you for real.
And above all, he’s someone with whom you can feel safe.
10. He shares similar values with you
Finally, the right husband for you will be one who shares your values.
Truth is, a man can look perfect on paper, he can tick off all the items on this list…but if you value different things, it won’t work in the long run.
“Sharing core values is vital to a healthy long-term relationship. Without them, life together can begin to degrade, and friction may become unavoidable.
Communication, conflict resolution, problem-solving, and decision-making are much more straightforward when people’s morals and principles align.”
I know couples who were so in love in the beginning but had to split up in the end because they wanted different things in life.
So, if the guy you’re dating shares your values, that’s a really, really good sign.
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