"I was born in rural Jamaica where my grandmother delivered me and brought me up for the first 13 years of my life, as my mother went back to Kingston to work as soon as I was born, and then to the UK when I was 7. We grandchildren were like an extension of her 15 kids, and I still miss her terribly, even after 50-odd years. She was an amazing woman who loved to laugh, very kind and sweet, loving and playful, but also fiercely protective. I think I learned to be all that from her. But when she died early, in her 60s, I was sent to the UK to be with my mother and I just wept for 3 years. I so desperately wanted to go back to Jamaica.
"I thought it was horrendous here - cold and grey and miserable, and so blatantly racist too. As part of the dominant culture back home in Jamaica, I'd never been exposed to that before. There was all sorts of name-calling, aggressions, impediments and oppressions. You still saw signs up saying 'No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish' and it was almost impossible to find a place to rent. But, by the time I'd earned enough money to afford to go back I'd got used to it here, and I'd decided that I had the right to be, and that nothing was going to stop me doing what I wanted to do. That was such a relief and gave me so much more confidence and self-esteem.
"At 19 I married a white Englishman who was 20-plus years older than me and didn't have a racist bone in his body. He was a nice man, a good husband, and a great father to our 3 children, even after we divorced when Zadie, my eldest, was 15. That then gave me the freedom to grow into the fun, capable, energetic human I was meant to be. The world is essentially full of beautiful people, of all skin colours, and some of my longest and strongest friendships are with wonderful white women who've been my rocks. I think you have to be resilient, pick your battles, and never allow your spirit to be dampened, because life is just too precious."
Yvonne, HoGLed at her home in Queens Park, July 2018.
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