You Named It WHAT?

You Named It WHAT? #1 You Named It WHAT? #2 You Named It WHAT? #3 You Named It WHAT? #4 You Named It WHAT? #5 You Named It WHAT? #6 You Named It WHAT? #7 You Named It WHAT? #8 And NOW... -

HOW TO HANDLE A PROBLEM NEIGHBOR



The Ass Family



Boy Genius!


Good Reason to Wear Pajamas to Bed!!!


Tattoo Of The Year



Latest Grill Accessories These are a must have!

It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you smile, your friends will smile too!

GOD'S PHARMACY

 

THREE THINGS IN LIFE...

Three things in life
that, once gone, never come back:

1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life
that can destroy a person:

1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life
that you should never lose:

1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life
that are most valuable:

1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness

Three things in life
that are never certain:

1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things in life
that make a person who they are:

1. Commitment
2. Honesty
3. Hard work

Three Things in life
that are truly constant:

1. Father
2. Son
3. Holy Spirit

I ask the Lord to bless you,
as I pray for you today;
to guide you and protect you,
as you go along your way.

God's love is always with you,
God's promises are true.
And when you give God all your cares,
you know God will see you through.

BACON TREE

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees



Ees a ham bush...."

SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldnt help it!

The little voices made me do it !!! And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you - I know you did!

RASTAMAN

A Rastaman dies and goes to Heaven.

He is at the Pearly Gates and is met by St. Peter himself. But the gates are closed as RasI approaches the gatekeeper..
St. Peter said, 'Well, You seem to be in the wrong place as you not listed in the Book of Life.
But as there is such a crowd behind you and it would cause such a disruption I will give you an entrance examination if you pass it I will let you in.

The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven; "kool man" said the dread. Iman hope seh de tess no haad. Life tuff enough test as it was, u seet!

St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know,
but the test is only three questions. Here they are:

First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
"That one easy. That would be Tiday and Tamorro."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year asked St.. Peter.?
How many seconds inna year sar?
Now that one haada,' replied RasI, 'but Iman think about that, and Iman seh de only answer can be twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
"Well it got to be twelve", he replied: watch ya now spar, U hav January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too

Third:
What is God's first name?'
A Sure,' he replied with a big grin . .
is Andy!
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Ratid, that was the easiest one of all u kno St.bradda,'
When Iman waak by de church dem, mi hear dema sing

ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: 'Run, man, run!!!'


Wherefor we pray Lord, Give me a sense of humor,
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks !

UPLIFTING AFFIRMATIONS

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL