See the photo? It's quicksand. You probably think knowing how to escape it isn't important, right?
Well, you're about to change your mind.
I had a good friend named Joe who got stuck in quicksand. It happened just a few months ago. He was walking through the bush in a forest in rural Australia, a path he'd traveled many times.
Joe took a wrong step and felt himself sink a little into the ground. He panicked and took another wrong step, sinking even deeper into the soggy earth.
When he realized what was happening, he realized that his initial reaction had only sunk him deeper into the sandy earth. It was too late for Joe. He decided to push himself out.
Every time he pushed out, the earth swallowed him a little deeper. He was sinking, the sand now reaching his chest. Still, he continued trying even harder. He knew his efforts weren't working, but he couldn't stop. It was like a ship trying to avoid a collision: the longer it takes to turn the wheel, the harder it is to turn.
He kept trying desperately. His mouth began to fill with sand. He kept pushing with all his strength until he lost it. After one last push, the sand swallowed him.
What if I told you Joe wasn't walking in the woods, but was in the middle of a conversation?
“You look so healthy, I love your curves, Anna.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
"Well, those extra pounds really look good on you. You look much healthier than those skinny girls," she added, noticing the sand rising.
“Are you saying I’m fat?” she replied angrily.
"No, well, it's just that I like curvy girls; they're more attractive. A few extra pounds are fine for me; my friends say the same."
As you can imagine, by now the sand was up to his neck.
Life is full of quicksand and we all face it at some point.
So how do we get out of them?
Act, don't react.
Our first action is reaction. If we don't think, we reinforce our primal instinct. When Joe found himself trapped, he pushed or struggled until he understood what was happening, but he only sank deeper.
If Joe had stopped pushing, taken a breath, and reflected on his situation, he would surely have made it out. He would have realized that his compliment was offensive to the other person.
"I'm sorry, Anna. That sounded really off-putting; that's not what I meant. I've just noticed you've been looking fantastic these past few weeks, and I wanted to know your secret."
But what if words aren't enough to avoid offense?
Just apologize.
That's all there is to it. A sincere apology can persuade anyone.
What if you're already pushing and fighting, but the sand keeps leveling up?
Well, exactly the same. Stop moving, and calmly leave the arena with an apology or acknowledgment of your mistake.
Remember, it's never too late until it's too late; which tends to be later than we think.
By the way, this is how you should escape from quicksand:
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