You have my deepest condolences. It is hard enough dealing with the loss of someone you loved dearly; having to have a conversation with a three-year-old is not easy.
You will never hear me say empty platitudes; I heard enough when my wife of forty years died in 2015. If I may suggest, when you are ready, two books may help in many ways.
The Grief Recovery Handbook and When Children Grieve, both by John W. James and Russell Friedmann, are both on Amazon.
I do not envy you; my heart breaks for you and your child. The worst thing you can do is minimize his daddy’s death. He will ask where he is. That is normal. It’s okay for you to cry and let him know you miss him too. There is no good way of telling him.
There is a video on YouTube about a young mother who was hit with not one tragedy but three in short order.
I hope my sharing of the books and this video can help you in the work of moving forward with your life instead of moving on. I did that for four years after my wife died. Our children were grown; however, my late wife and I were raising our oldest/first grandson. He is deaf and has ASD. That is a challenge to explain death to him and why his grandma (Pa) was not coming back.
Will you make mistakes? There are tons of them. Death sucks. As you move forward, always remember to keep your late husband, his daddy, in the present, not the past (where many want to keep those who have died.) He is a part of his daddy. Talk about him, and keep those memories alive for your son.
I’m going to shut up now, or I’m going to start crying. My wife has been gone nine years, and there is not a day that I do not miss her. I have moved forward with my life, yet she is a part of it. I do not compare my spouse with my late wife, yet I share memories. My husband is also a widower after losing his wife in a car wreck. We always talk about them. They are a part of us. Your late husband is a part of you. That never goes away.
Take your time; there is no rush. My prayers are with you.
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