Monday, December 29, 2025

A young man and his grandfather

A young man and his grandfather.

In 1974, 23 year-old Dan Jury made a life-altering decision to move his 81-year-old grandfather, Frank Tugend, out of a nursing home and into his own apartment to care for him full-time. What started as a personal commitment became a transformative moment in American elder care. Dan’s intimate photographs of their three years together were published in the 1978 book Gramp, co-authored with his brother Mark. The visual memoir, raw and emotionally honest, sold over 100,000 copies and played a pivotal role in the rise of the hospice movement, showing that dying at home, surrounded by love, was far more humane than institutional care.

Dan’s decision was a radical departure from the social expectations of the 1970s. While his peers pursued careers and relationships, Dan focused on caring for Frank—bathing him, managing his medications, and providing comfort during moments of confusion. Many saw these sacrifices as a waste of his youth, but Dan later reflected that those years with his grandfather taught him more about life than any job or relationship ever could.

Frank, a Ukrainian Jewish immigrant who had survived the hardships of the Depression, spent his final years not as a burden but as a teacher, showing Dan the strength in vulnerability, the value of family, and the grace in accepting help. Their bond, captured in photos of tender moments, demonstrated that caregiving is not a sacrifice but a profound exchange of love and lessons. Through Frank, Dan learned about the beauty of mortality and the dignity every individual deserves, regardless of age. Their story changed how America viewed elder care and inspired thousands to choose home care over institutionalization, proving that family responsibility is about love, not burden.

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