Tuesday, December 05, 2023

Yes, Filipinos can be very cliquey. In general.

Have you done something wrong? Probably not. I think if you had done something to offend the people they would have shown you in some other way for sure.

Yes, Filipinos can be very cliquey. In general.

It is actually Filipino culture to “speak the common language,” but that depends largely on who you are actually with. It is also Filipino culture to absolutely persecute each other on English language if there is even the tiniest mistake even if the person criticising can’t speak English, so oftentimes they don’t try in case they make a mistake. In general they don’t adjust their behaviour according to how this might make someone feel.

I give you an example. A couple of weeks ago I was standing in a pharmacy in a queue waiting to be served and it happened that there was a ladyboy standing with two girls ahead of me in the queue. The girls got the ladyboy’s attention, he turned, saw my face and started laughing, right in my face. Not giggling, just laughing. And the two girls were sniggering about it. After a few seconds of this, and them whispering back and forth, finally I asked them “why are you laughing at me? Is there something on my face? Did I do something?” It continued. So I spoke Tagalog and she asked me “Tagalog ka?” (Are you Tagalog?). I said “No. Tao ako.” (I’m a person.). They continued laughing right at my face so I just said to them, “I am right here in front of you, why are you laughing?” It’s a small thing right but it really isn’t nice. I walked away and then one of the staff served me anyway so I guess I got to queue jump.

Just yesterday one of the street vendors ran up to me in front of a large crowd and shouted “hey Joe! How are you?” I am not American and it is kind of a racial slur and factually incorrect so it kind of annoys but I replied to him anyway since he was all smiles and walking alongside me. I replied, slowly, and clearly, and he said “I don’t understand you!” ran away, back past his friends and they all laughed and hi-5d each other. This is an adult male and other adults, not little kids.

I do not believe they set out to be unkind. I think those individual people and the ones in the pharmacy are just stupid and wrong behaviour, but not intentionally racist or nasty.

Then there’s the inferiority complex. Some people believe you are like an alien. You are a superior alien from outer space who they can’t relate to. Some people ha really behave like that. So it’s ok to be rude or to not include you because you’re superior.

In your office, it could be lots of things. It could be those individual people just happen to not be very nice. It could be their parents didn’t teach them speak the common language, so maybe they’re nice but bad-mannered? It could be they think you’re not interested in what they are saying or it could be it’s too difficult/uncomfortable for them to translate. It could be many, many things.

Are you in the Philippines? If you are, do you speak Tagalog, even a little?

I think the best thing to do is to find one of your friends from within that group, or the one that seems the best communicator/kindest and talk to them about it. See what happens :)

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