Six years ago, I was still married. I had two kids with my then-wife. I was a little younger, a little slimmer, a little happier overall. I felt that I would probably be married forever. That we’d be one of those couples who would stay together throughout it all, weathering all storms, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. And end up celebrating our 50th, 60th, maybe even 70th anniversary…
The possibility of us, not being married, not being a couple, not being together… didn’t even occur to me. In my mind, it simply didn’t seem like something that could happen. But fast forward six years, and it did happen. I took things for granted. Her. Our little family. And I ended up losing it all when she fell in love with another man she met online. It’s strange, but it’s not hard to see why, in retrospect — I had become complacent. I settled. “Good enough” was my mantra.
And “good enough” really wasn’t worth staying for. Good enough wasn’t enough to keep going, to keep struggling. Because there wasn’t really a way out of things. We went through the motions, and the motions were pleasant enough, but there was no growth. There was some pain, some struggling, but overall, the waters were calm, there were few views, and little developments. Worse yet — I had largely given up on most of my dreams. And so had she.
Six years later? I now am a single father. I cook, I clean, I take my kids to school and pick them up. In between, I work. I have a lot of help from my parents. My ex, too, is involved, although lately, less so. I’m overwhelmed, at times. But I’m ten times more capable today than I was six years ago. Tired as I may be, that’s got to be worth something. Furthermore, I know exactly what I want in life, now. And I killed the ghost that haunted me for so long, that evil spirit called “Good Enough”. Because it isn’t, yet. But it will be.
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