Wednesday, July 10, 2024

What is the experience of living alone in an isolated place? How does it feel to not have anyone around?

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I live alone in a house surrounded by woods in the Ozark foothills of Missouri. This photo was of the wonderful storm that came through yesterday. I have complete privacy in all directions, and most of the time, it sounds like a jungle outside.

Not twenty minutes earlier, I returned from a meeting in Springfield. It was a group meeting covering an interesting topic, but it was nice to be back home working alone. I love every second I’m here and never take it for granted. It’s a wonderful lifestyle, and I never feel alone or lonely in the slightest.

After taking some pictures of the rain, I was back inside, laptop in hand, working away. It feels like a perfect life. Yet, when I read this question, it doesn’t feel like it’s what you’re really asking.

My sense is that what you really question is if living alone in a remote place is somehow tied to loneliness. I don’t know where the idea first originated, if it was books or movies that tie aloneness and living remotely with loneliness when one has nothing to do with the other. Even as I write this, I realize I’m tired of trying to convince people that they are not connected.

I’ll try and explain it in reverse. If you can learn to recognize your singularness, meaning independence in all forms, interactions with all surrounding people become much easier because you are less dependent. You can see them with more clarity and thus interact with more clarity, and you become more indifferent to their presence, but not in a negative way. They have far less impact on the quality of your day. There is no difference between living alone and having people around, except for the interruptions they cause and the interactions, both positive and negative. No matter what, you’re fine. Think of driving your car through the rain. No matter what, you’re just fine inside.

That’s a bit what it’s really like out here in this secluded place. You have things to do in your day, and that’s your focus. The concept of loneliness bounces off you because it doesn’t exist in the first place. You have far more important things to think about. It’s a difficult concept to explain, and the choice of words is threading a needle here.

Watching the storm from the front entrance of my house was a perfect moment, among many, living out in the woods. I couldn’t make it more perfect in any way. I have a lot of them here, and isn’t that the goal, no matter where we are?

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