One thing I realized long ago is that if someone hurts me, and I dwell on the hurt, and on the hate I have for this person, then I just stress myself out. Stress is bad for me. Stress makes me sleep less soundly at night. It is not good for my heart, my cholesterol, my testosterone. Peace of mind is much better for me. Forgiveness gives me peace of mind.
Now forgiveness does not have to be permanent — it can merely be a respite. A ceasefire. “Park” the wrong in your head, and postpone retaliation until you’re able to hit back.
Now maybe you never will be in a position to pay back the person who hurt you. Which is just as well. In that case, the “parking” of the issue can be indefinite. If the opportunity arises to make things right, set the record straight, then by all means, pounce.
There are people who you want to forgive, because they are, at their core, good people. People you cared for and loved. Forgiving these people, without reservation, brings inner peace to YOU more than to the one you forgive. And then there are people who merely hurt you, for the sake of hurting you. These people you can forgive, or you can not forgive them — it matters very little. All I know is, if they hurt you before for no reason, they will do it again. So remove yourself, distance yourself from these people. Pay them no mind. Give them no energy. Maybe some day, you’ll get back at them. Maybe you’ll never see them again. Either way, disengage.
For your own sake, analyze who hurt you, and why. Forgive those who acted out of weakness, or impulsively, without real malice. Those who maliciously hurt you for no reason, disengage from them. Do not water the plant of hatred, lest it grows into a mighty tree that will one day fall and crush you, as much if not more than the person you direct the hatred at. Be wise. For your own sake.
No comments:
Post a Comment